Tuesday, March 06, 2007

How To Get Included When Co-Workers Leave You Out

Amy writes to Ask Amy on what to do about naked women in e-mail forwards at work that she does not receive:
[T]hey do not send them to me (though I have seen one or two), but they do discuss these e-mails in front of me, laughing when I get upset....I have joked around with the guys in the past....do I have to completely abandon my sense of humor and basically threaten them with harassment charges? It's a small office and we've worked together for years. I just find myself growing less tolerant....
Ask Amy replies:
It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with your coworkers....simply point out that it's just not funny to you....If this more conversational approach doesn't make an impact, you could also probably do something more formal through your HR office. Many workplaces have policies against viewing porn, etc....on their dime and through their accounts. Also, this cumulative behavior can count as sexual harassment -- even though it's not intended that way, or at least you don't seem to be interpreting it that way -- it is part of creating a hostile work environment.
Pierre replies:

If you listen to Ask Amy, you will find there is nothing like going to the human resources department in a small office, which probably does not have an HR deparment because it is a small office.

You need to assess yourself. Why are you growing intolerant? Why are you so afraid of porn? Why are you embarrassed by it? Is it your parents? School? Are you afraid of sexuality? If you are afraid, you must stop living in fear because porn has seeped into American culture, but you seem to have been closing your eyes to it. Why not open you eyes and engage in meaningful discussion with your co-workers about something they care about? Instead of seeing sexual harassment accumulating, you should demand that the glass ceiling be shattered and that the men send you the forwards so that you can better discuss the pictures with them.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some peope just find porn boring rather than offensive. Some people have porn fill a void in their lives when they are lonely. When they find someone to meet their intense desires, porn seems trivial (but can be fun here and there with each other). Porn is for bebes under the age of 30. Some people can look right through the young girls in their 20s acceptance of porn culture. We know it's about wanting to be cool and trying to find self-esteem (though in the wrong way).
I love Pierre. He is a bit like Triumph the insult comic dog.I think he likes to push the edge of the envelope.

3/09/2007 3:38 AM  

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