Saturday, August 19, 2006

A New Teaching Philosophy, Part II

During the infamous Writing Program orientation last week, we were required to write about student conferences. My response below is, of course, very much in line with current pedagogical theory.

Student conferences function as an integral part of a student-centered writing class. Often during conferences, my student and I simply sit in the same room and stare intelligently at each other, basking in the bliss of self-knowledge and contemplating the act of writing in silent awe. Occasionally, murmurs of the wonders of writing escape from us half-consciously. The student eventually emerges from my office full of joy and enlightenment, as I revel in my success as the composition teacher-god.

Why Student Conferences Must Be Required

It is imperative that all instructors be required to conference with their students. Conferences help instructors maintain their roles as teacher-gods and are therefore essential to student success, much like the occasional offering of human sacrifices. Furthermore, imposing this burden on both students and teachers enables the dictatorship of the Writing Program to continue exerting control with an ironmost fist, an arrangement of power that forms the necessary foundation of all learning.

On Student Conferences and Catism

Student conferences also further the catist agenda of the Writing Program by providing a space for one-on-one instruction. Since the formal education of cats is only now beginning to gain acceptance through the hard work of critics like Cat Gergiev, it is essential that the needs of underprivileged cats be addressed on an individual basis.


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