No Trespassing!!

The lovely apartment that I provide to house my generally docile feline offers an abundance of proper quarters for sleeping and lounging: sofa, upholstered chairs, bed, coffee table, window ledges, frequently available laps, etc. Yet my little cat apparently is not satisfied with such accommodations that I lavish upon her, forcing your humble narrator to post a list of forbidden locations:

1. Upon my hair.
2. Upon my back.
3. In front of computer screen when said computer is in use.
4. Upon the kitchen table.
5. In the dishwasher.
6. On top of the stove.
7. In the oven.

In order to pre-empt any accusations of humanism on the part of certain catist crusaders, I shall note that the above list applies to humans as well as to felines.