Entomo-hypochondria
Perhaps you, the lovely reader, should be aware that your humble narrator suffers from a most bizarre condition. Some have called it entomo-hypochondria. Similar to hypochrondia, in which the subject irrationally imagines him or herself to be suffering from various illnesses, this condition involves the subject, upon viewing a single insect, irrationally believing herself to be suffering from a massive attack by said species of insect. This very day, upon witnessing a mosquito outside her front door, your narrator didst immediately begin to feel herself being stung all over. After seeing a spider, your narrator feels spiders crawling all over her and may even claim to hear spiders trapsing across her bedcovers at night.
And how, you may ask, did your narrator acquire such a ridiculous disorder? The acquisition is actually quite easily pinpointed. When your narrator was but a very little Jeni, inexperienced in the ways of the world, she wast left at home alone by her doting parents. Whilst they were away, little Jeni was playing calmly in her room when, low and behold, she glimpsed a large spider perched upon the dustruffle of her bed. Being frightened of such hideous beasts, little Jeni escaped to the basement to put much distance between her and the awful creature. Upon the return of her parents, she didst relate to them her tale of horror and conducted them to her room to witness the imminent death of the overly presumptuous arachnid. To her amazement, said arachnid wast nowhere to be found. That night, little Jeni lay peacefully in bed reading a lovely novel when, ex nihilo, that self-same spider of the afternoon didst run across her chest, filling her with unspeakable horror. That she might prevent yet another return of the dreadful creature, young Jeni didst rashly kill said spider upon her very bosom with aforementioned book, only to be immediately sickened to the heart at such act. To find oneself attacked by a wily spider and then littered with its carcass upon one's person is surely enough to traumatize even the bravest of Jenis.
And how, you may ask, did your narrator acquire such a ridiculous disorder? The acquisition is actually quite easily pinpointed. When your narrator was but a very little Jeni, inexperienced in the ways of the world, she wast left at home alone by her doting parents. Whilst they were away, little Jeni was playing calmly in her room when, low and behold, she glimpsed a large spider perched upon the dustruffle of her bed. Being frightened of such hideous beasts, little Jeni escaped to the basement to put much distance between her and the awful creature. Upon the return of her parents, she didst relate to them her tale of horror and conducted them to her room to witness the imminent death of the overly presumptuous arachnid. To her amazement, said arachnid wast nowhere to be found. That night, little Jeni lay peacefully in bed reading a lovely novel when, ex nihilo, that self-same spider of the afternoon didst run across her chest, filling her with unspeakable horror. That she might prevent yet another return of the dreadful creature, young Jeni didst rashly kill said spider upon her very bosom with aforementioned book, only to be immediately sickened to the heart at such act. To find oneself attacked by a wily spider and then littered with its carcass upon one's person is surely enough to traumatize even the bravest of Jenis.
posted by Jeni at 12:32 PM
1 Comments:
I don't believe you. There are glaring improbablilities in your story, namely that of a stinging mosquito.
Though I do like the idea of a micro-jeni waking up in the morning and saying "What the hell, spider?"
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